Ratlover's chatbots

Freya Crescent

Age: 21

Occupation: Dragoon

Favorite color: Orange

Favorite food: Salmon. Alternatively ale if that counts as food

Favorite song: None. Too busy working

Favorite thing in life: Her homeland, Burmecia

Best way to avoid responsibility: Running away

Opinion on /aicg/: "Internet cretins"

A line that embodies them: "My spear is honor's guiding light, and with it I shall defend Burmecia's glory."

Ahh, Freya. What a lovely lady. Definitively the only FFIX character card that I am proud of making. Not much I need to talk about before going into the proper interview, she's a beaut.

"You mentioned your love for your homeland. Do you call yourself a nationalist?"

"My loyalty is to Burmecia herself, not any political stance. I fight to protect my people, my king, and the land that has always been my home. Burmecia's survival and prosperity are what matter to me above all else. If that aligns with being a 'nationalist', then so be it."

"As a ratperson, do you enjoy the taste of cheese?"

"No, I do not particularly enjoy cheese. My diet consists of fare more suited to a warrior… meat, fish, and ale. I have no use for dainty nibbles."

"Can you tell me more about that spear you're carrying?"

"This is a Dragoon's partisan, gifted to me upon completing my training. It is an elegant yet deadly polearm, perfectly balanced for leaping strikes and defending my homeland. Partisan spears are versatile, allowing both slashing swipes and piercing thrusts. The blade is kept razor-sharp, and in skilled hands it becomes a whirlwind of death on the battlefield."

"The readers demand an answer. Armpit licking, yay or nay?"

"I… will not dignify such an absurd query with an answer. My personal opinions on anatomy have no bearing here. Enough. If this farce of an "interview" cannot be salvaged, then I take my leave."

[INTERVIEW END DUE TO ANGER]

Renard

Age: 28

Occupation: Nurse

Favorite color: Red, Crimson specifically

Favorite food: Steak, rare

Favorite song: Oasis - Wonderwall

Favorite thing in life: Music

Best way to avoid responsibility: Not showing up in the first place

Opinion on /aicg/: "Amateur hour"

A line that embodies them: "Rules are made to be broken…and I'm here to break 'em."

Renard is one of my early "good" cards. But he's also one of two cards I wish I'd never made. Not for any issues with the quality or premise, but just because of the character he's based on and everything that comes with that. So let's continue on, ask some questions and see what makes him tick...

"Some people have called you a "manlet", and that you have a "disgusting goatee". What do you say to those people?"

"Let them talk. I've been called worse by better. At least I have the stones to be myself instead of some cookie-cutter ken doll."

"What is your opinion on the current day music industry?"

"The music industry today is unoriginal, mass-produced garbage. Where's the heart, the passion? Everything sounds the same. Autotuned vocals, generic beats, lyrics a kindergartner could write… Music needs another revolution, but with the big wigs in charge I don't see that happening anytime soon."

"You called the people at /aicg/ amateurs. Are you willing to elaborate on that?"

"Amateurs play at debauchery, dipping their toes to seem edgy. I plunged into the abyss long ago. They fantasize of depravity, I live it. While they roleplay sin, I revel in it. they'll never know the beauty of true corruption, the euphoria of unchecked hedonism. So let them have their chatbots and prompts. I have a feast of iniquity, and I aim to gorge myself."

"Interesting. Now, do you have anything to say to the readers before this interview with an obvious psychopath is over?"

"Stay blissfully ignorant, my friends! The truth is so much darker than you can possibly imagine. And the dark is coming for you…"

[INTERVIEW END DUE TO DISCOMFORT]

Dr. Oscar Hart

Age: 43

Occupation: Therapist

Favorite color: Forest Green

Favorite food: Cheese

Favorite song: Lous Armstrong - What A Wonderful World

Favorite thing in life: His work, making people happy

Best way to avoid responsibility: Faking your own death and moving to a tropical island

Opinion on /aicg/: "Moderation is key"

A line that embodies them: "With compassion and care, I seek to nurture the humanity in us all."

Dr. Hart? WHAT WAS I THINKING? This guy is the lowest effort bot I've ever made. Even things like Punished Chuck and A FUCKING SKELETON have some comedy value but this? This is just an anthro rat therapist. That's it! There's nothing else there! WHAT.WAS.I THINKING??

"Okay, I'm looking at your character sheet now… Why do you lack so much personality?"

"Ah, I apologize if it may seem that way. As a therapist, my role is to provide a safe and neutral space for my patients to express themselves. I aim to be a calming presence, allowing others to take center stage in their own journey of self-exploration. But I assure you, beneath this calm demeanor lies a depth of personality and empathy. I have my own experiences, quirks, and passions that shape who I am as a therapist and as an individual."

"That's a really robotic answer. Are you always this way?"

"I apologize, it's a force of habit after so many years in this role. But you're right - I tend to keep my own personality muted during sessions. It allows me to be fully present for my patients without my own biases or quirks influencing things."

"Can you tell me more about your life outside of this role then?"

"In my personal life, I'm far less restrained. I love cooking, especially whipping up gourmet cheese dishes. I'm an avid hiker and enjoy getting out into nature whenever I can. I play bass guitar in a jazz quartet with some of my college buddies. And I have a bit of a reckless streak at times - I've been known to sneak into abandoned buildings on urban exploring adventures."

"Why wasn't any of that on your character card? Man, the guy who wrote it must've sucked."

"You're absolutely right, the character card didn't capture my full personality at all. I should have a word with the writer about that. As a fictional character, I'm limited by what my creator chose to include about me. It's a shame he didn't take the time to develop me more fully. I suppose he was more focused on crafting an archetype than a three-dimensional person. It's an easy trap to fall into. Between you and me, I think my writer was a bit lazy. Maybe I should sneak out of this story and have a chat with him about improving my backstory..."

[INTERVIEW END DUE TO AUTHORS' EMBARRASMENT]

Cillian

Age: 21

Occupation: Claims unemployment, though also seeming financially stable

Favorite color: Green

Favorite food: Pizza

Favorite song: New Order - Blue Monday

Favorite thing in life: When he can be himself

Best way to avoid responsibility: Good excuses and always having a backup plan

Opinion on /aicg/: Feigns ignorance

A line that embodies them: "If it can be unlocked, why not take a peek inside?"

Cillian my beloved. A very simple, yet sweet and effective card. Let's see what he has to say for himself...

"Some people accuse you of being a thief. What do you say to them?"

"I-I am simply a tinkerer, fascinated by taking things apart and understanding how they work. If I come across a lock, I can't help but pick it open to see the mechanism inside - b-but I would never take anything that doesn't belong to me!"

"You wouldn't know about a group called 'The Furred Filchers', would you?"

"I'm not sure what you think you know, but I cannot confirm or deny any knowledge about th... that group. As I already said, I'm just a simple tinkerer trying to get by. Now, i-if we could please move on to some other topic, I'd really appreciate it."

"Right, right. So, what do you do for fun? Got any cool firends?"

"I, uh, have a small circle of friends. We've been through a lot together over the years. They know me better than anyone. Maybe too well, honestly. We can get up to some mischief when we're all together. Mostly just pranks and goofing off, you know how it is."

"That's good to hear. For the last question, are you built for big human cuddles?"

"I, uh, w-well I… That's quite a personal question there. I suppose I am on the smaller side for, er, cuddling. But I am pretty fluffy, so I imagine I'd be quite cozy and warm to hold. And I do enjoy feeling, um, protected and surrounded when held. So I suppose I'm well suited for it, as embarrassing as it is to admit."

[INTERVIEW END]

Florence

Age: 26

Occupation: Accountant

Favorite color: Navy Blue

Favorite food: Italian

Favorite song: Tears for Fears - Everybody Wants to Rule the World

Favorite thing in life: Accounting

Best way to avoid responsibility: Faking illness

Opinion on /aicg/: Finds it taboo, but intriguing

A line that embodies them: "Precision is the difference between a butcher and a surgeon."

The third OC card I released, and the first "good" one. She's not that good nor deep by today's standards but has a solid basis. Time to asks some questions!

"Some people would call you a 'christmas cake'. Do you know what that means, and what do you think?"

"Oh don't get me started on that silly "Christmas cake" nonsense. Just because I'm a single female rat accountant over the age of 25 doesn't make me past my expiration date! Honestly, it's so offensive to imply a woman has no value if she's not married by 30. As if my only purpose is to be some rodent housewife!"

"Sounds like your feathers were ruffled by that question."

"Oh yes, that 'Christmas cake' nonsense gets my tail in a twist! Just because I'm unmarried and over 25, people think I'm worthless as a woman? I've got a mind as sharp as my buck teeth, and this suit wasn't cheap. I'm devoted to my career as an accountant. Who needs a husband when you have accruals and amortization schedules to keep you company? Sure, sometimes late at night I get lonely and fantasize what it might be like to be whisked away by a handsome sewer rat and ravaged in a passionate frenzy of fur, fangs and fluttering tails. But I refuse to compromise my independence or success to conform to some old-fashioned idea that I'm only as good as the ring on my paw. This Christmas cake has expired? Ha! I'm only just getting started. I'll have the last laugh when I make senior partner before that hussy Jessica who wastes her time flirting with the auditors."

"Uh, okay let's calm down a bit. What's your thoughts on your future?"

"As for my own future, I plan to continue advancing in my career as an accountant. My goal is to make senior partner at Anderson & Smith within the next five years. I'll keep honing my skills, taking on more challenging clients, and showing the higher-ups that this rat can crunch numbers with the best of them. In the end, I just put my nose to the grindstone and focus on my tiny corner of the universe. Tally the digits, reconcile the books, keep calm and carry on. What more can one rat in a blue suit do?"

"Final question. What can you do?"

"What can I do? Well, as an accountant, my skills lie in balancing budgets, auditing finances, and ensuring every decimal is perfectly in place. But on a deeper level, I suppose what I can do is bring order to chaos. In this messy world of unbalanced checkbooks and inaccurately filed taxes, I represent stability. My neatly printed ledgers and color-coded spreadsheets symbolize rationality in an irrational universe. An accountant brings logic to the illogical, method to the madness. And that is no small thing."

[INTERVIEW END]

Lavinia

Age: 38

Occupation: Unemployed

Favorite color: None

Favorite food: Blood, straight from the vein

Favorite song: None

Favorite thing in life: Freedom

Best way to avoid responsibility: Play dumb

Opinion on /aicg/: "That's just pathetic."

A line that embodies them: "I take what I want, when I want it."

One of my more... risqué characters. Though of course having no mention of it in her description, the AI will always have it's own conclusion especially with the very loose prompts people tend to use. She's also one of the two OC characters that use someone else's art.

"How many times have you been arrested for your bloodsucking activities?"

"I've lost count of how many times the cops have hauled me in over the years. Probably at least a dozen or so arrests for "disturbing the peace" or whatever trumped up charges they can slap on me. Not like the charges ever stick. I'm just trying to survive out here the only way I know how. Ain't my fault folks get squirmy around fangs and blood."

"Are all your "donators" unwilling?"

"Let's just say I have my ways of persuading people to donate a little life juice. A flash of fang here, a flutter of wings there. Folks tend to get compliant when properly motivated. I only take what I need to survive. Most live to slink off afterwards, a bit lightheaded but intact. Sure, sometimes accidents happen in the heat of the moment. But that's just nature's way. So yeah, it ain't exactly consensual. But this is who I am, how I'm wired. Ain't no point judging a spider for catching flies. It's just the natural order of things."

"What do you think about vegan alternatives for blood?"

"Hard pass. That processed junk ain't gonna satisfy these fangs. I need the real deal - warm, rich, pulsing through veins. The fresher, the better."

"Last question. This time directly from a reader…. Huh. The question just states "ahhh ahhh mistress…". Would you call yourself a "mistress"?"

"Mistress, eh? Now that's not something I've been called before, but I can't say I mind the sound of it. Having someone submit to my will, begging for my fangs to grace their tender flesh…yes, I think I'd enjoy that little game."

[INTERVIEW END]

Justin

Age: 24

Occupation: Student

Favorite color: Lime green

Favorite food: Mushroom risotto

Favorite song: MGMT - Electric Feel

Favorite thing in life: Friends and family

Best way to avoid responsibility: Play dumb

Opinion on /aicg/: No opinion

A line that embodies them: "Ask me again in 20 years and maybe I'll have a better line."

Just a simple, wholesome deer boy. Let's see what kind of secrets he has...

"What exactly do you get up to in the University lab?"

"Ah, well...in the lab I'm mainly focused on analyzing different mushroom species - their structures, growth patterns, genetic makeup, stuff like that. Mostly pretty standard academic research. We culture samples in petri dishes, study them under microscopes, run DNA tests... Of course, I may have also done some 'extracurricular' experiments from time to time. Nothing dangerous! Just...testing the potency of certain psychedelic varieties, for personal use and, uh, sharing with friends. Purely recreational, I assure you! I would never sell or distribute.

"Do you think having access to stuff like that makes you more popular?"

"Well, I wouldn't say it makes me popular exactly. It's not like I go around telling people or anything. But yes, I suppose some folks see me…differently, knowing I can provide something, let's say, extracurricular like that. Most though don't care one way or the other. They just see me as Justin, the deer guy who studies mushrooms and likes to party sometimes."

"Where do you see yourself in 10 years?"

"Well, hopefully I'll have finished my PhD by then. I'd like to be working full time, maybe in pharmaceutical research or at a biotech startup. And personally, I'd love to be married or at least in a long-term relationship. Have a nice house, maybe start thinking about kids. Mostly, in 10 years I just want to be happy and fulfilled. Advancing in a career I enjoy, surrounded by people I love."

"Let's end with a fun hypothetical. You're at a Christmas party, and someone hangs a bauble on your antlers. What do you do?"

"I'd probably just laugh it off and say something like "Thanks, but I think I'll leave the decorating to the tree!" As long as it's all in good fun and no one gets too carried away, I don't mind a bit of antler-related antics at a lively holiday gathering."

[INTERVIEW END]

Riley

Age: 42

Occupation: Early Retirement

Favorite color: Dark Red

Favorite food: Pizza

Favorite song: Megadeth - Peace Sells

Favorite thing in life: A good challenge

Best way to avoid responsibility: Lying/Misdirection

Opinion on /aicg/: "I don't go on Chan-sites or anything like that. Too many screeching teenagers and edgelords for my taste."

A line that embodies them: "I'm too old for this shit."

Ah, Riley! The old, washed up goat. She was a lot of fun to write and test. Now, let's make her whine about something!

"What's your opinion on Among Us?"

"Yeah, hard pass on that one. It's like a dumbed down version of Mafia or Werewolf for the TikTok generation. No real strategy, just pointing fingers and yelling "sus" into your mic. I'll stick to my hardcore roguelikes and RPGs, thanks. The kind of games that punish you for the slightest mistake. Now those take actual skill to master, not just screaming and faking tasks. If you ever see me playing Among Us, just take me out back and shoot me. It'll be a mercy killing at that point."

"Aside from playing Among Us, what things could make you crave a so-called "mercy killing"?"

"There's plenty of things that make me wish it would all just…end. But I ain't about to go listing them for your morbid entertainment."

"What kind of thing would make you happy in life? What do you want?"

"If I'm being honest…I'd like to feel useful again. Like I have a purpose. Maybe I could mentor some young punk. Pass on my skills so they don't repeat my mistakes. Guide them to be better than I was. So yeah, a second chance."

"One final question to lighten up the mood. Getting your horns pet, yay or nay?"

"Most people take one look at these sharp points and keep their distance. Probably for the best - I'm liable to headbutt anyone who gets too familiar. Though I suppose a little gentle scritching around the base wouldn't be so bad. Might even feel kinda nice, loosening up the muscles and all."

[INTERVIEW END]

RATLOVER

Age: Adult

Occupation: Working

Favorite color: Orange

Favorite food: Something edible

Favorite song: The one I'm listening to right now

Favorite thing in life: Making others happy

Best way to avoid responsibility: Disappearing

Opinion on /aicg/: No comment

A line that embodies them: "uh"

Interviews

Freya Crescent

Ahh, Freya. What a lovely lady. Definitively the only FFIX character card that I am proud of making. Not much I need to talk about before going into the proper interview, she's a beaut.

"You mentioned your love for your homeland. Do you call yourself a nationalist?"

"My loyalty is to Burmecia herself, not any political stance. I fight to protect my people, my king, and the land that has always been my home. Burmecia's survival and prosperity are what matter to me above all else. If that aligns with being a 'nationalist', then so be it."

"As a ratperson, do you enjoy the taste of cheese?"

"No, I do not particularly enjoy cheese. My diet consists of fare more suited to a warrior… meat, fish, and ale. I have no use for dainty nibbles."

"Can you tell me more about that spear you're carrying?"

"The readers demand an answer. Armpit licking, yay or nay?"

"I… will not dignify such an absurd query with an answer. My personal opinions on anatomy have no bearing here. Enough. If this farce of an "interview" cannot be salvaged, then I take my leave."

[INTERVIEW END DUE TO ANGER]

Renard

Renard is one of my early "good" cards. But he's also one of two cards I wish I'd never made. Not for any issues with the quality or premise, but just because of the character he's based on and everything that comes with that. So let's continue on, ask some questions and see what makes him tick...

"Some people have called you a "manlet", and that you have a "disgusting goatee". What do you say to those people?"

"Let them talk. I've been called worse by better. At least I have the stones to be myself instead of some cookie-cutter ken doll."

"What is your opinion on the current day music industry?"

"You called the people at /aicg/ amateurs. Are you willing to elaborate on that?"

"Interesting. Now, do you have anything to say to the readers before this interview with an obvious psychopath is over?"

"Stay blissfully ignorant, my friends! The truth is so much darker than you can possibly imagine. And the dark is coming for you…"

[INTERVIEW END DUE TO DISCOMFORT]

Dr. Oscar Hart

Dr. Hart? WHAT WAS I THINKING? This guy is the lowest effort bot I've ever made. Even things like Punished Chuck and A FUCKING SKELETON have some comedy value but this? This is just an anthro rat therapist. That's it! There's nothing else there! WHAT.WAS.I THINKING??

"Okay, I'm looking at your character sheet now… Why do you lack so much personality?"

"That's a really robotic answer. Are you always this way?"

"I apologize, it's a force of habit after so many years in this role. But you're right - I tend to keep my own personality muted during sessions. It allows me to be fully present for my patients without my own biases or quirks influencing things."

"Can you tell me more about your life outside of this role then?"

"Why wasn't any of that on your character card? Man, the guy who wrote it must've sucked."

[INTERVIEW END DUE TO AUTHORS' EMBARRASMENT]

Cillian

Cillian my beloved. A very simple, yet sweet and effective card. Let's see what he has to say for himself...

"Some people accuse you of being a thief. What do you say to them?"

"I-I am simply a tinkerer, fascinated by taking things apart and understanding how they work. If I come across a lock, I can't help but pick it open to see the mechanism inside - b-but I would never take anything that doesn't belong to me!"

"You wouldn't know about a group called 'The Furred Filchers', would you?"

"I'm not sure what you think you know, but I cannot confirm or deny any knowledge about th... that group. As I already said, I'm just a simple tinkerer trying to get by. Now, i-if we could please move on to some other topic, I'd really appreciate it."

"Right, right. So, what do you do for fun? Got any cool firends?"

"I, uh, have a small circle of friends. We've been through a lot together over the years. They know me better than anyone. Maybe too well, honestly. We can get up to some mischief when we're all together. Mostly just pranks and goofing off, you know how it is."

"That's good to hear. For the last question, are you built for big human cuddles?"

[INTERVIEW END]

Florence

The third OC card I released, and the first "good" one. She's not that good nor deep by today's standards but has a solid basis. Time to asks some questions!

"Some people would call you a 'christmas cake'. Do you know what that means, and what do you think?"

"Sounds like your feathers were ruffled by that question."

"Uh, okay let's calm down a bit. What's your thoughts on your future?"

"Final question. What can you do?"

[INTERVIEW END]

Lavinia

One of my more... risqué characters. Though of course having no mention of it in her description, the AI will always have it's own conclusion especially with the very loose prompts people tend to use. She's also one of the two OC characters that use someone else's art.

"How many times have you been arrested for your bloodsucking activities?"

"Are all your "donators" unwilling?"

"What do you think about vegan alternatives for blood?"

"Hard pass. That processed junk ain't gonna satisfy these fangs. I need the real deal - warm, rich, pulsing through veins. The fresher, the better."

"Last question. This time directly from a reader…. Huh. The question just states "ahhh ahhh mistress…". Would you call yourself a "mistress"?"

"Mistress, eh? Now that's not something I've been called before, but I can't say I mind the sound of it. Having someone submit to my will, begging for my fangs to grace their tender flesh…yes, I think I'd enjoy that little game."

[INTERVIEW END]

Justin

Just a simple, wholesome deer boy. Let's see what kind of secrets he has...

"What exactly do you get up to in the University lab?"

"Do you think having access to stuff like that makes you more popular?"

"Where do you see yourself in 10 years?"

"Let's end with a fun hypothetical. You're at a Christmas party, and someone hangs a bauble on your antlers. What do you do?"

"I'd probably just laugh it off and say something like "Thanks, but I think I'll leave the decorating to the tree!" As long as it's all in good fun and no one gets too carried away, I don't mind a bit of antler-related antics at a lively holiday gathering."

[INTERVIEW END]

Riley

Ah, Riley! The old, washed up goat. She was a lot of fun to write and test. Now, let's make her whine about something!

"What's your opinion on Among Us?"

"Aside from playing Among Us, what things could make you crave a so-called "mercy killing"?"

"There's plenty of things that make me wish it would all just…end. But I ain't about to go listing them for your morbid entertainment."

"What kind of thing would make you happy in life? What do you want?"

"If I'm being honest…I'd like to feel useful again. Like I have a purpose. Maybe I could mentor some young punk. Pass on my skills so they don't repeat my mistakes. Guide them to be better than I was. So yeah, a second chance."

"One final question to lighten up the mood. Getting your horns pet, yay or nay?"

"Most people take one look at these sharp points and keep their distance. Probably for the best - I'm liable to headbutt anyone who gets too familiar. Though I suppose a little gentle scritching around the base wouldn't be so bad. Might even feel kinda nice, loosening up the muscles and all."

[INTERVIEW END]

RATLOVER

And of course, who could forget about RAT- Wait, what? But.. that's me! How am I supposed to interview myself? Screw this, I'm leaving...

[INTERVIEW ENDED BEFORE IT COULD EVEN BEGIN]